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Showing posts from 2022

Bullet Journal 2022-09-30 Friday

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Two steps forward, one step back Or sometimes two steps back, one step forward? 🙂 Should I play Diablo 3 again? Or even Diablo Immortal? Game was updated again Thinking about watching Rings of Power series Read about how it portrays Elves Shows the tension between their immortality and dealing with other races My niece told me something important that she wanted kept secret from her mom

Meditated on blessings

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I just finished meditating on all the blessings in my life. Both now and in the past. And thought about how much worse things could have been in so many ways. I've actually been so blessed. Now I need to focus on little steps again. I know I keep telling myself that, but I need to take it to heart. There's so much out there for me. So much left to do. Thank you, Lord!

Bullet Journal 2022-09-29 Thursday

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Feel like I should write routinely Still not sure what to write about though Feel like my thoughts are too much in a jumble Saw Facebook post for friend J Saw post about visiting majestic bodies of water Hope he's enjoying his travels Making slow progress on projects Worried about upcoming projects Worried about the unexpected as usual Trying to be positive and focus on good things now Trying to keep a heroic mindset Stuck, stuck, stuck Why do I keep going in circles? Ahhhh, why can't I be left alone? I realize that sometimes the only way I get anything done is to get thrown into it or to throw myself into it in a moment of impulse

Want to be good at things

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I want to be good at things. I want to put my effort into trying something and learning to be better. However, I still feel this hesitation for some reason. I've believed this was a hesitation related to realizing that I can never be perfect at something, so part of me feels it useless to even try. Why is that? Over the years I've realized every so often that I just have to let it go. Have to let go of the desire for perfection. Even for thinking that things could ever be perfect in any given area of life, like safety or comfort or anything. Yet even though I realize the obviousness of this, I still find that there is a part of me wishing that it could be otherwise. I do wish for there to be some master plan behind everything. That there is someone in control who knows what they are doing. That life is a story that has a plot and will have a good conclusion.

Bullet Journal 2022-09-27 Tuesday

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So tired and worn out Still not finding enough time for regular routines Hoping things will change soon Realize everything is still new here Need to at least do things like read Thinking about E Still can't believe she's gone Always thought I'd see her again someday

I'm a fencer!

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Well, an interesting surprise occurred. I'm now a fencer! 🙂 It all started with signing up my niece for a local fencing class. She was very interested in joining when we found out from someone that classes were available. Later on, I considered that perhaps I should have joined too since I was going to be taking her anyway and waiting around. However, when I checked, the classes were full. During the 1st session while I was sitting around and watching my niece, a lady started chatting with me. She was apparently a fencing student in another class and had been doing it for two years. She was very friendly and talkative. She asked me why I didn't join my niece, so I told her about how I had thought about it, but the class was full. Well, at the beginning of the 2nd session, the coach asked me if I wanted to hop in and join the class. I was shocked, and the other lady said she had a big mouth. I guess she had talked with the coach and got me into the class. 🙂 Even though I was n

Bullet Journal 2022-09-19 Monday

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Feeling very sad and depressed over losing someone in my family Very unexpected Not sure how to process this Other events going so-so No critical items Still hard to focus with so many little things yet Started reading Hero on a Mission Excellent so far Talks a lot about Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl Want time to focus and think about this book Seems like a good practical guide for what I've been seeking

Bullet Journal 2022-09-15 Thursday

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Things have slowed down some Now don't feel so rushed with urgent things More time to think Kind of uncertain on exactly how to proceed Helping Marluna host their Elements game on FoL No co-host really needed Helping with co-host requirement just in case Going to try to get back into reading again Considering reading Hero on a Mission: The Power of Finding Your Role in Life Want to also finish Sunreach Feel like playing something, but not sure what Started listening to podcasts again Loving my new car 🙂 Love the Android Auto integration

Bullet Journal 2022-09-07 Wednesday

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Got into another crazy busy phase Time passed by quickly Looks like I went 3 weeks or so without blogging or using Discord Again not sure if ready to take on more inputs Feel hopeful things will settle down soon Worried about October and November though Worried about winter too I guess 🙂 Worried about everything! 🙂 Want to play again Want to play Forum Mafia Want to play mobile games Want to play MMOs Need to get back into reading Need to push through and survive

Bullet Journal 2022-08-15 Monday

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Taiwan situation getting intense China continuing to amplify their threats Weird when Americans say I must be relieved to have gotten out of Taiwan Naturally I'm personally relieved to not go through that directly However, I have friends and family still in Taiwan who I worry about Almost feel guilty for being away now Of course, any groups with old or new Chinese friends here completely ignore talking about the situation Feel rather tired Probably need more sleep Just also tired from not really getting a chance to relax yet Though things are getting better and there is light at the end of the tunnel Miach contacted me again I really need to get back to her soon For some reason still not feeling ready for deeper conversations Haven't listened to music as much lately Also still need to get back into reading more regularly

Bullet Journal 2022-08-11 Thursday

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Life is starting to go a bit more smoothly Getting use to living in this new place Good news recently for my finances Still considering whether ready to join Forum Mafia game Not sure I can have the focus yet Haven't checked Discord for a few days again Not sure why I keep avoiding it I suppose just to limit inputs Feel like I still need to sort through my life Feel positive about this though

Bullet Journal 2022-08-03 Wednesday

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Starting to get some breathing space after moving back to US Trip itself went well and without any major issues Extremely busy since getting here Going to still be busy in months ahead Trying to sort out everything and take things step by step Preparing to open Discord for first time in awhile Kind of worried about that for some reason Yet also look forward to getting back into my social circles Joined EIMM misc game on FoL Originally just planned to be backup for in case they needed it They immediately let me take over Geyde's slot since he had to drop out Game hasn't actually started yet Not exactly sure I understand how this is going to work, but should be less effort than regular FM game Interesting to read about Nancy Pelosi visiting Taiwan now Need to get back into reading Also need to start listening to music again

Bullet Journal 2022-07-13 Wednesday

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Getting pushed to my breaking point Working on holding out Almost to the finish line for this stage Then new stage begins Haven't checked Discord for many days now Can't take any more inputs Though wish I could talk with someone Reading Sunreach by Brandon Sanderson Not quite as riveting as the full novels, but still enjoyable

Bullet Journal 2022-07-05 Tuesday

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Past midnight so guess I'll set this for next day Hectic schedule lately Preparations for moving Get togethers with family Running errands and helping others Still feel so bad that I'm avoiding social interactions I really want to say something Getting harder and harder to come back Realize I like the simple interactions with people from FoL Sometimes I do wish I could talk more with someone though Watched Top Gun: Maverick Enjoyed it a lot Simple story with human emotions and interactions Good story of fighting against the odds Sometimes simple is good Playing Diablo 3 recently Again, simple fighting against hordes of monsters Love my wizard character Love her voice and personality

Bullet Journal 2022-06-29 Wednesday

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Why do I hide? Because I'm afraid of interactions I get overwhelmed by all the possible issues that might come up Which experience has told me often happens And unexpected things especially, things I hadn't even considered Then I have to scramble to figure out what to do Though often in the end it wasn't a big deal Yet I get tired of having my little world disrupted How can I actually thrive on disruption? Considering how to establish good habits and routines after moving Big changes like this are good time to shift things around Not reading as much lately Really should find more time for that Talked with Chloe about FoL suggestion for keeping non-players and dead players from accidentally posting in game threads She laughed because she had just been talking with Orange about the same idea Good to hear that they are working on this already Thankful that the mods continue to keep things running

Bullet Journal 2022-06-24 Friday

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Kind of depressed today Find that often happens when my plans keep getting derailed by others Well, others who are demanding and unappreciative Otherwise I don't mind taking time out to help Arete wrote a kind "thank you" comment to me on Breadbox Made my day 🙂

Bullet Journal 2022-06-23 Thursday

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Felt I was in the underworld for about a week or so Finally fighting my way out of there Still haven't found the will to get back to all socializing Find myself still wanting to limit my inputs Reading  Yes to Life: In Spite of Everything by Viktor E. Frankl Author of Man's Search for Meaning , which was a great book He's the psychiatrist who was a prisoner in the Nazi concentration camps Still playing Diablo Immortal, though not as much time to do so Considering buying and playing Diablo 3 Can play as wizard in there, too 🙂

Bullet Journal 2022-06-15 Wednesday

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Extremely busy with projects last few days Avoiding Discord and most social interactions Afraid to return now Started playing Diablo Immortal recently Playing mobile version since having trouble getting PC version right now Think release is delayed in Taiwan Liking this game better than Lost Ark Actually feel interested in the storyline Love the voice acting, especially for my wizard character Find myself wanting to listen to everything and not skip like I often do in other games Guy on Fiverr delayed on FoL Archive search project Said he's been busy with his regular work lately

Bullet Journal 2022-06-09 Thursday

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Think my account may have been banned on Lost Ark Now says it can't authenticate from my current location Shows dialog with Appeal button that goes to web page talking about appealing bans May be able to appeal ban after moving to US Though not sure if I'd want to bother Wonder what they'd do about character if person does move to new country with different server locations Might be for the best since I was becoming uninterested in playing Glad I didn't continue to spend much money on it Finished reading Starsight yesterday Truly awesome series! So much I want to talk about with this series Reading Defending Elysium next, which is a prequel to the series Understanding others Recurring theme in my life Something I strive towards

Bullet Journal 2022-06-04 Saturday

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Up and down again might be the best way to summarize recent days Still, I don't want to complain because I know things could be much worse Continuing to read Starsight Loving where things have turned since the 1st book Amazed as always by Brandon Sanderson Trying to keep up with chats Know that I still need people Glad people can put up with me 🙂 Still feel somewhat lost Not sure of what's best to focus on Just doing little things here and there that I know will help no matter what Restarted project VA Feel more hopeful Looking for opportunities to really focus on it

Bullet Journal 2022-05-30 Monday

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Busy days filled with work and errands and organizing Didn't realize almost full week since last blogged Finished reading Skyward by Brandon Sanderson Rated 5 stars Man, Brandon Sanderson is such a great writer. Even his sci-fi is superb. I wasn't sure whether I'd like this as much as his other works, but I was captivated. This did feel a bit lighter because I think this was geared towards a young adult audience. But in some ways I liked that. And it still feels like it has such a backstory coming up. I can't wait to find out more! Continuing with Starsight next Logging into Lost Ark daily, but not really playing much Still not socializing

Bullet Journal 2022-05-24 Tuesday

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Certain person bringing me down as usual Going to try not letting it affect me too much Trying not to let anger overtake me Trying not to let myself dwell on unfairness So much unfairness in life when you think about it Made quick mindmap of things I should focus on Got to take little steps Thinking about how I feel when I see things in the social realm Find that I'm too judgmental at times Trying to be more empathic Training myself to realize that there is so much I don't know Lots of stories I've been reading have that element to them When I dwell on how the world is so confusing and sheer madness, I get depressed Trying to train myself to just accept this as how things are To learn to navigate in this situation Need to become anti-fragile Reading good stories helps Eager to continue with Skyward Other day found myself really lucky for double checking something Someone made a mistake that would have cost me a lot of frustration I almost didn't bother checking because

Bullet Journal 2022-05-23 Monday

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Things are actually pretty good today, but just feeling a little depressed? Not sure what to do with myself Feeling kind of anti-social still What's going on? What's the best thing to do now to move forward? Been thinking a lot about needing to focus on the big picture Need to discover what life is asking of me Need to move forward on this even if everything else gets in the way New life ahead? How will it feel? Can I make a good start of it? Started reading Skyward by Brandon Sanderson Already caught me in the prologue Made the assumption this would simply be a story about the daughter of a hero pilot who dies defending their home and now has to live up to his reputation Surprised by the actual premise Watched a little of TL and friends playing Betrayal at House on the Hill on Twitch Still need to reply to Shade Not sure why I'm having trouble with that Playing Lost Ark still Feels kind of lonely in the game Not seeing any sort of chat at all

Bullet Journal 2022-05-19 Thursday

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There is a limit to the time assigned to you, and if you don't use it to free yourself it will be gone and never return. — Marcus Aurelius Project PP complete Results came sooner than expected Everything worked out great Some precautions ended up being unnecessary Definitely better than the other way around Lots of little issues popping up Lots of interruptions also Keeping myself from going crazy with all the inputs Should be fine Reminded of the above prayer from Marcus Aurelius Time is limited Need to make the best of things for what matters

Bullet Journal 2022-05-17 Tuesday

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Feeling somewhat like my turtle (anti-social) mode now Nothing particularly bad, just lots of inputs or things to think about Feels important to make some good choices on direction now Felt like Neo in the Matrix today Where he was returning to the Matrix for the first time after being freed He was riding in the car and looking at various places around town Mentioned that he use to eat at a particular restaurant Said something about how the noodles taste good there Feel like that as I go around the city here in Taiwan Feel like this isn't real anymore I'm just waiting to return to the "real world" of the US Like I've been living in the Matrix this whole time Started playing Lost Ark recently Playing for short periods here and there Kind of fun, but don't feel fully engaged yet Maybe because I can't fully invest much time in it? Playing on same server as Shade, but haven't told him yet Originally started as Gunslinger, but switched to Glaivier

Bullet Journal 2022-05-14 Saturday

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Completed Project AT Nice alternate path came up Took tiring work to pull it through, but ended up successful Project AF will need to be pushed back somewhat, but should be fine Continuing to read Harrow the Ninth Currently 37% done Becoming more interesting again Feeling better

Bullet Journal 2022-05-12 Thursday

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Finished reading Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman last week It was interesting to read these stories from Norse mythology. I didn't really care for them much, but still good to know the background, which was why I wanted to read this. The actual storytelling was probably as good as it could get for these stories. Trying to return to reading Harrow the Ninth May look for something else

Bullet Journal 2022-05-11 Wednesday

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Project AP became much simpler than I expected 🙂 Reviewed documentation again carefully Found where I had made a wrong assumption last year Everything is actually working out as best as possible Found out Shade lost his older brother last year Watched him play Ori some, which he had played with his brother before Very beautiful game with enchanting soundtrack Feel like things are coming together Attempting to keep positive attitude regardless of setbacks Think of how others go through similar or worse Hope for way to help others more in the future

Bullet Journal 2022-05-10 Tuesday

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Project PP almost complete Mostly went smoothly Small hiccup discovered afterwards, but correctable Still need to wait for final results Need to focus on Project AP now Some parts are confusing Many steps involved, going to be stressful Need to rely on someone frustrating to work with Joined 2nd Secret Palpatine game on FoL Hiring SM on Fiverr to make FoL Archive searchable Google, Yandex, and Bing have all given disappointing results SM is moving everything into a database

Bullet Journal 2022-05-07 Saturday

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Things are so-so Some worrisome things have passed just fine Things are looking more positive for the future Posting this late since I never got around to writing more

Bullet Journal 2022-05-03 Tuesday

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Sometimes I want so badly to complain Especially about an injustice or unfairness But if the complaining does nothing, should I? If it is just venting? Or is it better to endure in silence? I know the frustration has to be released But perhaps other forms of release like meditation are better than venting Often when dwelling on unfairness in my head, I find myself just going in circles and circles Why do some people with insecurities choose to take them out on others? While other people learn to become more empathic towards others? As I've lived life, I feel I've become better at seeing things through the eyes of others Even when I don't necessary have the same exact problems or to the same degree, my imagination is developed enough where I feel I can picture what it must be like Sometimes I feel this strongly enough that it makes me cry Sometimes I even worry about thinking on such things too long since it can hurt my soul Continuing to watch Shade's gaming streams wit

Bullet Journal 2022-04-29 Friday

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Coming to see more and more of the benefits of moving Up and down, up and down Need time to rest Need time to meditate Lots of thoughts, just can't get the words out

Yor

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I'm changing my profile pic to a character named Yor from a new anime called Spy x Family. Artwork of her has suddenly been coming up all over the place. I watched the first couple episodes and it does look like it will be a fun show. 🙂

Bullet Journal 2022-04-26 Tuesday

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Up and down, up and down Created Discord server for Miach last week Called it Miach's World Just for Miach to invite friends Right now just Shade and myself Shade started streaming games on there He had been streaming with Miach before Now I can sometimes catch their stream or just chat with them Yesterday I watched him play Horizon Zero Dawn Osie's invitational game ended on FoL Orange's invitational game starting soon on FoL One big "blue" problem from over the years was finally resolved today Working on an urgent problem that came up today Checked out Scruffy's blog Looks like he posted about Guardian Tales in February

Bullet Journal 2022-04-20 Wednesday

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You have to assemble your life yourself, action by action. — Marcus Aurelius Chatting with Miach a bit again She was having trouble with her email Remembering TSO (The Shadow Order) guild from War of Genesis Preparing for a trip Continuing to watch Witcher season 2 Finished through episode 5 Getting quite interesting Can't concentrate much today

Bullet Journal 2022-04-18 Monday

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Nice chat with Miach today She's very sweet Probably should chat with her more She watches Shade stream games Not sure how I'm feeling Sometimes feel better and more hopeful But then that easily gets smothered by certain people and events How can I live more like the Stoics? Watched episodes 1 and 2 of Witcher season 2 Liking it a lot so far Love Ciri and Geralt Not sure how I feel about Yennefer this time around

Bullet Journal 2022-04-16 Saturday

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Your principles can't be extinguished unless you snuff out the thoughts that feed them, for it's continually in your power to reignite new ones... It's possible to start living again! See things anew as you once did — that is how to restart life! — Marcus Aurelius Trip coming up next week Orange's invitational FM game on FoL coming up soon as well Helping to host Starting to use PrayerMate app again Still have prayers and quotes from before Some very inspirational, like the one above from Marcus Aurelius Feel like I need to use this daily again Slowed down in reading lately Need to pick back up on that Wondering about Constantyne Wondering about Vulgard Watched a little of season 2 of Witcher as preview Looks like it will be very interesting again Read that season 3 in the works

Bullet Journal 2022-04-13 Wednesday

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Feel like I'm in a severe funk Don't want to do anything at all Busy morning Then had headache for much of rest of day Now getting a bit better Still have another health issue bothering me for past week and half Still just can't bring myself to feel like doing anything Thought about trying to just write here Finished filing my taxes couple days ago Seem to always delay every year Usually feel that it was simpler than I expected Good results from a report today Extremely happy and relieved about that Feel so lost Don't even know what I'm seeking Don't know what would make me happy Trying to find consolation in things that use to make me happy

Bullet Journal 2022-04-08 Friday

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My life is a blur Don't know what to make of it sometimes Feel so out of control Feel like things just keep coming at me See a light of hope sometimes See a way out of the storm Can I make my way out? Reading Harrow the Ninth Feeling more into it this time around Watching Avatar again One of my favorite movies Feel so frustrated and angry sometimes Need time out periods Need time for meditation Need to gain perspective So many hopes and dreams still Do I even attempt them?

Bullet Journal 2022-04-01 Friday

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Falling back on simple Bullet Journal Really feel need to write, but can't find focus for more complete writing Thoughts in my head driving me crazy Reading stuff in #lgbt-zone channel of Breadbox My heart goes out to some of these people Wish some way in heaven and earth that I could help Teetering on depression Keeping myself from dwelling on thoughts that I know could bring me down Found that I need to go back to watching inspirational videos Let me release my emotions to some extent I do still feel a light of hope through all this I know I can make it God or someone or something has always been watching over me For this I am truly thankful Want to write about some ongoing games on FoL Might try continuing to read Harrow the Ninth next

Bullet Journal 2022-03-29 Tuesday

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Feel like my head might explode Way too many inputs at the moment Really needed to just write this Really want to write more Trying to stay calm throughout Lots of rain recently Reading Classroom of the Elite Vol. 3 Good lessons

Bullet Journal 2022-03-25 Friday

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Organizing bit by bit WindwardAway sent me DM asking if I was interested in joining Osie's game on FoL First of all, I was pleasantly surprised to get the message from WWA Not sure what prompted her to ask She's not a co-host for the game It's wonderful when people reach out like this Previously I decided not to join because a game like this will be difficult to keep up with Now I'm considering again She said she won't try hard for the 1st day or 2 I probably wouldn't be able to do much for 1st day or 2 since it starts on the Tomb Sweeping Festival 4-day weekend Also talked about Magnus' RP game on FoL Also want to join that, but not sure I could focus on it Feel like I'd be disappointed and possibly frustrated Started reading Thinking in Bets again from where I'd paused

My wish for writing

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I wish so much that I could write more freely. That I would be held back so much from writing what's on my mind. I've been considering what impedes me. I'm pretty sure a part is simply that I don't feel confident. I don't know whether my words will be considered seriously. Or they may be misinterpreted. Or that I will look silly for the ideas I present. Another aspect is somewhat related but a slightly different focus. I feel so strongly that I can't get into words all my true thoughts. And this annoys me. I have an idea in my mind and think that there's no way I can get it completely into words. No matter how hard I might try. So then it feels almost a disservice to even try. That I'm making an inferior version of the idea by putting it into words. I know this is all silly. People realize that words don't necessarily convey everything but that a person still needs to try. And I also realize that this improves over time with practice. The more I writ

Bullet Journal 2022-03-22 Tuesday

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Finished reading The Sword of Kaigen Rated 4/5 stars I like all the "real life" themes presented in this story. A lot of coming to terms with what we didn't previously know. Things that were misunderstood. And learning acceptance of other people and ourselves. I was kind of annoyed by the unnecessary usage of special names for time durations like minutes, hours, and such. It just added unnecessary confusion. I understand how a fantasy or sci-fi writer does this to make the world more obviously foreign. And maybe to specifically show that the time scales are slightly different on this other world. But it just comes across as annoying. I was sad to read in the afterword that the author doesn't plan to continue with this series anytime soon. It seems like this could really be a cool world to explore. Considering what to read next Maybe next Classroom of the Elite Also should maybe focus on continuing with non-fiction book already started Joining Seth's game on FoL Fe

Bullet Journal 2022-03-21 Monday

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Listening to post-rock again to soothe myself while walking SBPC game on FoL was a success Some people seemed genuinely interested in the results Nice to see talk about old times People got to learn about early history of site DatBird was nice to specifically compliment my hosting Orange asked me to be one of the co-hosts for his upcoming invitational again He said he liked how well I handled the other one I said that I probably could Hopefully my schedule will work out He said "you're awesome, genuinely" 🙂 That was especially nice coming from him Thinking about joining Osie's game on FoL Seems kind of like a mini-mash Might not require too much investment, which I wouldn't have time for Though could have tons of posts Almost done reading The Sword of Kaigen Found time to meditate today Really need to do this more often Sometimes try at night, but usually feel too sleepy Scruffy contacted me today Should contact Miach soon

Bullet Journal 2022-03-18 Friday

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Not feeling so well lately Kind of frustrated with multiple things Feeling my anger rise easily Also feeling a bit weird physically Not exactly sick or anything Just kind of tired I guess SBPC game working out fairly well so far Considering whether to try playing single-player PC game Been hearing about Stellaris a lot Also maybe rogue-like games Started watching anime called Bofuri Kind of cute Not sure if I mentioned this in a previous post, but came up with idea for Emoji Charades game Players can only use emoji on the forums to describe a phrase to their teammate Probably going to use movie titles Also considered doing a story version Players have to tell a story with emoji and see if someone else can retell the story correctly Missing my friend Scruffy recently For some reason I'm hesitant to ask what's been happening Hope he's doing fine Found that listening to post-rock music calms me somewhat Helps me deal with turmoil inside Many people think classical music is cal

Bullet Journal 2022-03-15 Tuesday

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My SBPC (Sort By Post Count) game now in signups on FoL Watched Classroom of the Elite anime through episode 7 Episode 7 was slightly beyond where I had read in the light novels Might read next light novel after finishing Sword of Kaigen Cleaning up a bit here and there Feel like I'm moving too slowly Oh, talked with Arete briefly about a fanfic post Another section is a meditation on her popular understanding as the god of fighting Evil. She refers to it, herself, as being the god of defeating Evil, and She thinks it an important difference. When children are learning to swordfight, they commonly try to swing their sword at the enemy's sword, seeing that swordfighting often involves weapons clashing in this fashion and thinking that to swordfight you ought to clash your weapon in this fashion. But when you swing a sword, you should be trying to kill or cripple the other person. They might bring their sword down in your way, they might not, but a swordfight is not your aim; it

Bullet Journal 2022-03-13 Sunday

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Yesterday and today somewhat relaxing Mainly because a certain person is out of town 🙂 Feels like less socializing recently Getting done with some stuff Want to plan out more Continuing to read The Sword of Kaigen Connecting more with female MC We are very different, yet also much the same in certain aspects Aspects like hiding who we are and doing what is expected from family and society Feel somewhat on the edge of despair I feel fine really However get the feeling that things could tip over easily Can't let that happen Started watching anime for Classroom of the Elite

Bullet Journal 2022-03-10 Thursday

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Days going by so quickly Feel so-so Mostly tired Somewhat depressed Thought I wanted to write a lot Can't get my thoughts in order now Want to fight for something Listening to podcasts Reading Guess I stopped playing Mobile Legends Feeling somewhat lonely