Lost Whyspers

Listening to philosophy podcasts Philosophize This! #126 - Gilles Deleuze pt. 2 - Immanence Existential Stoic Podcast - "The Republic" by Plato Existential Stoic Podcast - Reevaluating Suffering & Stress Jordan B. Peterson Podcast 291 - How to Combat Hedonism | Dr. Peter Kreeft Sunday Stoic 292: Memorize the Stoics with Dr. Kevin Vost Still struggling with balancing hope and despair Considering playing game like RimWorld or Stellaris Seem popular among FoL members Started playing tennis again Oh yeah, it's Halloween today 🙂 Made me recall times in Mobile Legends Miss those times somewhat, yet know I shouldn't return to that Couple more games starting up on FoL Chair of Deception game unfortunately canned since not enough players Not sure if I should join one or both of these new games EDIT: Adding note after listening to Jordan Peterson podcast mentioned above Dr. Kreeft says something about how our free will is all interconnected Good choice you make now will ...

I want to be good at things. I want to put my effort into trying something and learning to be better. However, I still feel this hesitation for some reason. I've believed this was a hesitation related to realizing that I can never be perfect at something, so part of me feels it useless to even try. Why is that? Over the years I've realized every so often that I just have to let it go. Have to let go of the desire for perfection. Even for thinking that things could ever be perfect in any given area of life, like safety or comfort or anything. Yet even though I realize the obviousness of this, I still find that there is a part of me wishing that it could be otherwise. I do wish for there to be some master plan behind everything. That there is someone in control who knows what they are doing. That life is a story that has a plot and will have a good conclusion.

My SBPC (Sort By Post Count) game now in signups on FoL Watched Classroom of the Elite anime through episode 7 Episode 7 was slightly beyond where I had read in the light novels Might read next light novel after finishing Sword of Kaigen Cleaning up a bit here and there Feel like I'm moving too slowly Oh, talked with Arete briefly about a fanfic post Another section is a meditation on her popular understanding as the god of fighting Evil. She refers to it, herself, as being the god of defeating Evil, and She thinks it an important difference. When children are learning to swordfight, they commonly try to swing their sword at the enemy's sword, seeing that swordfighting often involves weapons clashing in this fashion and thinking that to swordfight you ought to clash your weapon in this fashion. But when you swing a sword, you should be trying to kill or cripple the other person. They might bring their sword down in your way, they might not, but a swordfight is not your aim; it ...

Started off crazy busy today Felt like so many demands all at once Too much responsibility How could I ever handle being a hero? How could I decide between 2 competing needs? Need to decide which takes priority Always hoping for some way to "save" both Learning to think outside the box Learning to prioritize more quickly WindwardAway joined mod team on FoL Good choice Sometimes feel jealous of WWA She's so cool in many ways Happy for her Pondering choices Realize it's usually better to simply go with 1st choice for decisions that don't matter much Like choosing coffee or food or whatever Don't dwell too much Sometimes 2nd guess myself and think I might regret 1st choice Now tell myself oh well that's fine Also realize need to ponder things ahead of time before decision time Need to figure out my general principles so they guide me quickly at critical points Learning to short-circuit analysis paralysis

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ SPOILER ALERT! This contains spoilers for  Elantris  by Brandon Sanderson. I finished reading Elantris. It was an amazing read like Sanderson's other stories. I loved all the main characters. I do hope Sanderson gets around to continuing this series. I particularly liked some of the ideas the story focused on, like hope. Raoden was a source of hope for those around him. It was infectious. And even when everything seemed in despair towards the end, Galladon couldn't help but retain that hope even if he wished it would go away. There was again the idea of not knowing someone and assuming things that turn out to be false or even completely the opposite. This has made me consider my own assumptions about people and situations. I want to cultivate this source of wisdom. While it's true that my assumptions may turn out to be correct, and possibly in all likelihood, I think it is still wise to take the time to question those assumptions. So even when I am correct about the...

Started to get depressed yesterday Fought this Also fought it this morning Thinking about examining my values more systematically Writing them down Possibly thinking about moral situations Want to be prepared when situations actually come up When to fight and when to let go Think of how those I admire fight Do I have time to work on Betrayal at House on the Hill? So much yet to do Take it step by step Keep calm Maybe I need to chat with Miach again soon She's encouraging Artwork above by Guweiz Like seeing her calm, meditative expression

Still snappish? Am I going downhill? Sometimes I have this wild thought that maybe I'm undergoing rehab Like maybe I'm in a simulation or reincarnated life Maybe I've placed myself or was forcibly placed into this situation That I need to learn how to become a better person Or maybe that I'm training myself to become ready to take a role with power I think I would do that to myself Makes sense in order to avoid becoming corrupted by power later Should I try out Mobile Legends again? Maybe it's a good release? Yesterday I finally made headway on a problem Wrote out all the various scenarios and results That helped see the bigger picture Also had thoughts that my life may be like one of those background stories for an evil character Like the movie Maleficent Where it shows how the character was once good and how they turned evil Or maybe they aren't evil but completely misunderstood and thought to be evil Sometimes people say those types of stories kind of make ev...

Feel very good today Don't feel tired I think this is due to engaging with lots of ideas recently Listening to podcasts Brainstorming game ideas Thinking about my future Also making progress on projects Want to clean up more Need to get back to practicing Chinese Frustrated with certain person who always wants to tell people how to live

On the Breadbox server, they were taking a moral alignment test based on the alignments in D&D. Moral Alignment Test I often like taking such tests. I got the following result. I feel like this is a good result for me. It matches well for how I see myself. I particularly like the description given.