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Showing posts from September, 2022

Meditated on blessings

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I just finished meditating on all the blessings in my life. Both now and in the past. And thought about how much worse things could have been in so many ways. I've actually been so blessed. Now I need to focus on little steps again. I know I keep telling myself that, but I need to take it to heart. There's so much out there for me. So much left to do. Thank you, Lord!

Bullet Journal 2022-09-29 Thursday

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Feel like I should write routinely Still not sure what to write about though Feel like my thoughts are too much in a jumble Saw Facebook post for friend J Saw post about visiting majestic bodies of water Hope he's enjoying his travels Making slow progress on projects Worried about upcoming projects Worried about the unexpected as usual Trying to be positive and focus on good things now Trying to keep a heroic mindset Stuck, stuck, stuck Why do I keep going in circles? Ahhhh, why can't I be left alone? I realize that sometimes the only way I get anything done is to get thrown into it or to throw myself into it in a moment of impulse

Want to be good at things

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I want to be good at things. I want to put my effort into trying something and learning to be better. However, I still feel this hesitation for some reason. I've believed this was a hesitation related to realizing that I can never be perfect at something, so part of me feels it useless to even try. Why is that? Over the years I've realized every so often that I just have to let it go. Have to let go of the desire for perfection. Even for thinking that things could ever be perfect in any given area of life, like safety or comfort or anything. Yet even though I realize the obviousness of this, I still find that there is a part of me wishing that it could be otherwise. I do wish for there to be some master plan behind everything. That there is someone in control who knows what they are doing. That life is a story that has a plot and will have a good conclusion.

Bullet Journal 2022-09-27 Tuesday

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So tired and worn out Still not finding enough time for regular routines Hoping things will change soon Realize everything is still new here Need to at least do things like read Thinking about E Still can't believe she's gone Always thought I'd see her again someday

I'm a fencer!

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Well, an interesting surprise occurred. I'm now a fencer! 🙂 It all started with signing up my niece for a local fencing class. She was very interested in joining when we found out from someone that classes were available. Later on, I considered that perhaps I should have joined too since I was going to be taking her anyway and waiting around. However, when I checked, the classes were full. During the 1st session while I was sitting around and watching my niece, a lady started chatting with me. She was apparently a fencing student in another class and had been doing it for two years. She was very friendly and talkative. She asked me why I didn't join my niece, so I told her about how I had thought about it, but the class was full. Well, at the beginning of the 2nd session, the coach asked me if I wanted to hop in and join the class. I was shocked, and the other lady said she had a big mouth. I guess she had talked with the coach and got me into the class. 🙂 Even though I was n

Bullet Journal 2022-09-19 Monday

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Feeling very sad and depressed over losing someone in my family Very unexpected Not sure how to process this Other events going so-so No critical items Still hard to focus with so many little things yet Started reading Hero on a Mission Excellent so far Talks a lot about Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl Want time to focus and think about this book Seems like a good practical guide for what I've been seeking

Bullet Journal 2022-09-15 Thursday

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Things have slowed down some Now don't feel so rushed with urgent things More time to think Kind of uncertain on exactly how to proceed Helping Marluna host their Elements game on FoL No co-host really needed Helping with co-host requirement just in case Going to try to get back into reading again Considering reading Hero on a Mission: The Power of Finding Your Role in Life Want to also finish Sunreach Feel like playing something, but not sure what Started listening to podcasts again Loving my new car 🙂 Love the Android Auto integration

Bullet Journal 2022-09-07 Wednesday

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Got into another crazy busy phase Time passed by quickly Looks like I went 3 weeks or so without blogging or using Discord Again not sure if ready to take on more inputs Feel hopeful things will settle down soon Worried about October and November though Worried about winter too I guess 🙂 Worried about everything! 🙂 Want to play again Want to play Forum Mafia Want to play mobile games Want to play MMOs Need to get back into reading Need to push through and survive