Lost Whyspers

I just realized that I haven't been getting any email notifications about comments on my blog. I see that I've missed lots of them and need to go through them soon. It looks like the setting for getting email notifications was disabled for some reason, which is pretty stupid. I also need to get back into writing more regularly. Not sure why I've been feeling reluctant to write. Though at the same time I feel eager to get my thoughts out. Weird.

I've been pondering a lot about what I live for. What gives meaning to my life? That seems like an important question to answer. Yet sometimes it feels like a trick question that will absorb all your time trying to figure out. That maybe it is best to just do what you can with little things in daily life and little wins here and there and not worry about that big question. Sometimes I think I have an answer and it motivates me for a time. Maybe not always the full answer, but I get a feeling like I'm on the verge of knowing the answer and if I just pursue it down a certain path, it will become more and more clear. But then things overtake me and I soon forget where I'm going. Is it getting any better the longer I live? I have this hope and faith that it is. So even though I've failed so many times in the past, I have become more experience and wise hopefully that when I get on the path again, I'm be better prepared to follow through. And that will my experience and

Awww man, just got news that something I thought I was done with 3 years ago is coming back to trouble me again Now more troublesome due to being in the US Oh well, I guess I just have to deal with it Ups and downs as usual Haven't felt like coming here to write Yet so many things I wish I had written about I took some notes of things Continuing to read Cytonic Listened to dramatized audiobook of Emperor's Soul , which I previously read Felt as amazing as it was reading it the first time Feel like I'll probably listen to it again in the future Started listening to dramatized audiobook of White Sand Another one by Brandon Sanderson Originally just a graphic novel (comic book) Don't enjoy reading those Thrilled to find out there was an audiobook instead

I switched over to a new profile pic of a winter girl. I animated it with the falling snow.

First post of the year Mind is such a clutter Still trying to figure out the best way to sort through everything Keep needing to force myself to take things a piece at a time Finished watching Rings of Power a few days ago Last episode of the season felt rushed Overall I still enjoyed the series Probably will watch season 2 when that comes out Guitar learning has improved after switching to new tutorial videos Started playing Guild Wars 2 Huge install Just trying it out since I heard positive things about this MMO Not sure that I'll continue Find myself getting bored easily with games now Maybe not bored exactly, but just questioning whether they are worth playing Still avoiding a number of social interactions Though did successfully navigate a difficult conversation yesterday

Watched movie Everything Everywhere All At Once Still trying to process what it means to me Particularly liked a part where one character talked about how others might see him as weak However he uses kindness and positivity as his way to fight against despair in the universe Started playing Diablo 3 again a little Christmas weekend went okay

Listened to meditation about anxiety Talked about how anxiety is something people get used to Sometimes felt each day for years Worried about losing it and not knowing what to replace it with Better the devil you know than the one you don't I feel this way sometimes Feel superstitious that if I don't have the anxiety, then things will go badly That the anxiety is what keeps me safe or makes things work out Created above character using AI art tool Ran out of images from free trial Need to decide if I want to do more Love the potential Still pondering Misc game for FoL