Lost Whyspers

Experience is a harsh teacher because she always gives the test first, the lesson afterwards. Okay, switching my profile pic and quote on Discord, so I thought I'd post those changes here from now on for a historical record. The pic is Kai'Sa from League of Legends. She was so cool in that recent cinematic I saw. Makes me excited to play her when Wild Rift comes out.

Haha, I'm not sure whether to even use the names of my friends. I guess I won't for now. I was chatting with one of my good friends about how things are going. He could sense that I've been distant. I had said something about being tired and busy thinking about things. Then he came out and asked if I was thinking about quitting Dragon Raja. Haha, I guess sometimes I'm easy to read. 🙂 I admitted that I was thinking about quitting other games. And rethinking how I spend my time and effort. He gave some encouraging and comforting words. I appreciated that. I was somewhat worried that he'd be upset or something if I said anything about leaving the game. But he just seemed to be supportive. I also had another chat with my other good friend. He always asks good questions and encourages conversations about various topics. He asked what I wanted to talk about and for some reason I decided to ask if he wrote in a journal or on a blog. He did say that he writes in a...

Oh wow, I just discovered that one of my favorite music artists, Evanescence, had a song called "Whisper" on their first album. I recognize the song but completely forgot about it. I'll admit that it wasn't one of my favorites, but I did still like it. I'm going to put it into my "Moody" playlist and listen to it once in awhile. 😀

I am considering leaving War of Genesis. When I moved over to TSO to follow my friend Mia, it was fun and I almost felt like the game was getting better. It makes so much difference to be among a good group of friends. But then the guild leader left, and things weren't quite the same anymore. Plus, the game itself isn't really conducive to group activities. So without a good social group, the game feels dead. I don't think I'll be investing much time into GWENT either. I already find that the strategy involved with the game requires some study and continued practice. I think I may still play it from time to time, but I don't expect it will be a main game for me. So I suppose that just leaves Dragon Raja. I still have my doubts about whether that will last long term. I like my club, but I don't feel quite that connected with it. I basically just have connections with a few people in the game. But those require a lot of time to maintain the relationships. T...

I just saw an email from one of my old friends from Mobile Legends. I feel so guilty about leaving my Mistborn clan, but I had to. I had a nervous breakdown from all the pressure during that time. Though not all of it was due to Mistborn, certainly a big part of it was. It was an unfortunate combination of work, family, and social pressures all bearing down on me at once. I couldn't handle it. After my breakdown, my therapist got me to admit my involvement with Mistborn. He strongly suggested that I needed to immediately cut ties with the group for at least a month to get back to stability. I reluctantly did as he asked and found that he was correct. As I spent more and more time away from Mistborn, I had to admit that I was feeling better overall. I had a clearer picture of what those relationships were doing to me. However, I held a lingering guilt. There were still a few people I missed so much. Now that I've spent all this time away from them, I am wondering whether ...

Today I started trying out a meditation app called Waking Up. It was created by Sam Harris and features his voice during the sessions. I figure I really do need to try out mindfulness meditation again, and so far I liked everything I saw and heard in this app. I will continue to go through the lessons daily. Supposedly he also has explanations of the theories, which should be interesting. Waking Up: A Meditation Course

One of my favorite songs is still "Hunter" sung by Dido. I'm listening to it now and I'm still enthralled by her voice and the lyrics. I want to be a hunter again want to see the world alone again to take a chance on life again so let me go.

Haha, I seem to love making short blog posts. I just remembered that I hadn't mentioned GWENT. It's a card game based on the Witcher. I started playing when the mobile version came out recently. It's actually kind of fun. It requires strategy and I really like that. I especially find it interesting with the melee and ranged rows, and then the 3 rounds.

Here are a few Stoic quotes I came across recently that I like. Consider that as the heaps of sand piled on one another hide the former sands, so in life the events that go before are soon covered by those that come after. — Marcus Aurelius The things you think about determine the quality of your mind. — Marcus Aurelius Nothing brings happiness unless it also brings calm; it is a bad sort of existence that is spent in apprehension. — Seneca

I was participating in Storm Conquest within the mobile game War of Genesis. My guild TSO (The Shadow Order) has been recently competing against a Korean guild SOG for the one ruin location.We use to be able to fight against other guilds to capture the ruin, but now SOG has been sending their whales against us. Pretty much their whole guild is full of whales. I use to think P2W was fine in games. I myself do pay some for improvements, though usually I am more concerned about cosmetics. It didn't seem like it mattered too much. Like in Mobile Legends, you still needed skill to actually play competitively. But in War of Genesis and Dragon Raja, it looks like P2W has such a huge advantage. One SOG member is able to hold out against our whole guild. We even attempted to use strategy in timing the attacks, but that failed in the end because SOG could just pay lots of diamonds to speed up their attack. I'm tempted to write something to the developers, but I doubt it will make a dif...

So after the victory in Dragon Raja, it looks like our club stayed around to chat awhile in Discord. I saw that later they got into revealing faces and ages. Wow, so many young and beautiful people. 🙂 Haha, I saw that someone remembered my age and asked if anyone was older. I didn't see any mention of an older age, so I guess I really am the oldest. Oh man, I feel so old. 🙂 Hmm, I'm wondering whether I will post my pic if asked. I am still worried that my parents will discover that I'm sharing my pic and other info with strangers online. Oh, how they would be furious with me...

Our S7 server in Dragon Raja won all the battles for the cross-server PvP event. Amazing! This was much better than last time. We pretty much overwhelmed them, though they did provide some challenge, so it was fun. 🙂

I've been listening to a podcast version of Joe Rogan's interview with Sam Harris. Interesting stuff. I had heard a series of conversations between Jordan Peterson and Sam Harris before, so I was interested in hearing more from Sam. He seems like a very reasonable person even though I don't necessarily agree with some of his philosophical viewpoints. I might look for Sam's podcast and listen to an episode of that.

Oh, I just happened to watch a League of Legends cinematic for season 20. Wow, they really put together amazing videos for the game. I had tears in my eyes halfway through, maybe even sooner. I'm not sure why, but scenes like this with the heroics and emotional music in the background just really get to me. I want to play the mobile version that's suppose to come out eventually.

Well, the club merge between my club DragonsRaja and TriForce is happening. They are moving into DragonsRaja. It really is too bad the club name can't be changed. DragonTriforce or something else would be cool. I don't really like the DragonsRaja name since it gets confused with the game name. Oh well. 🙂

Oh, I just thought of how I should start posting the good quotes I come across. Here's the latest quote I've been using on Discord. One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say. – Will Durant

Oh, how I get so annoyed with toxic people. Those people who just have that personality that makes things worse for those around them. If you decide to be nice and try helping them out, they just find things to complain about even then. So then you want to avoid interacting with them or doing anything more than necessary with them. They can then complain about how others don't do anything for them. Oh, so frustrating. But sometimes we can't avoid these toxic people. All we can do is try to limit our interactions with them and keep ourselves strong enough to handle those situations that come up.

It sounds like my club DragonsRaja is merging with TriForce. That's probably for the best. The active clubs need to combine to keep strong. I guess there's also been talk about server merges, so I think clubs are getting ready for that eventually. I had been sad that Muji decided to leave and go to TriForce, but now it looks like we'll be in the same club again.

I've been enjoying talking to some new online friends. There's a guy in particular who is interesting to chat with. He asks lots of interesting questions. But he seems depressed about his life. I hope that I can help him in some way. Though I know a lot of working out of depression is just taking little steps yourself. Day by day, making small improvements. I still miss some of my old online friends from Mobile Legends . I don't know what to do about that. Should I return? There are particular friends I miss talking with. But I don't know if I can handle returning.

I've been having fun playing Dragon Raja recently. Though I can see that the real thing keeping me in the game is the connections with people. Still, there are details in the game that make it more interesting and fun. I like how it mirrors real life on a basic scale. For instance, my character actually sits at a computer to blog for her superstar career. Haha, I love it! 🙂

I'm not sure where this leads. Somehow I got the inspiration to start a blog as Whysper, my alter ego. I've considered a blog in the past, but I've always known that I couldn't post as my real life self. Now perhaps I can be free to be myself as Whysper. So I will experiment with this and see how it goes.