Lost Whyspers

Awww man, just got news that something I thought I was done with 3 years ago is coming back to trouble me again Now more troublesome due to being in the US Oh well, I guess I just have to deal with it Ups and downs as usual Haven't felt like coming here to write Yet so many things I wish I had written about I took some notes of things Continuing to read Cytonic Listened to dramatized audiobook of Emperor's Soul , which I previously read Felt as amazing as it was reading it the first time Feel like I'll probably listen to it again in the future Started listening to dramatized audiobook of White Sand Another one by Brandon Sanderson Originally just a graphic novel (comic book) Don't enjoy reading those Thrilled to find out there was an audiobook instead

Trying to be positive and thankful Almost finished reading Yes to Life: In Spite of Everything by Viktor Frankl Still learning guitar Feels like slow progress Getting better at the 3 chords I'm working on Fingers don't hurt as much Still hard to switch between them Trying to get through little tasks Finished up some tasks that were tugging at me Want to chat more with people Though also afraid for some reason Feel afraid of starting things up? Feel afraid that I can't consistently reply? Why should this matter so much? Again, I think mostly I'm just afraid of having too much to think about Yet I need a release When things are going smoothly, I'm afraid to make waves Yet that is probably when I should be taking more chances I need to make myself more comfortable with confrontation And with choices and making decisions

Remember, the key to accomplishing something big is to stay focused on what you're trying to bring into the world and putting a little something on the plot every day. ― Donald Miller How in the world do some people write so much so quickly? Wish I was a better writer I know part of it is simply practice Just doing it as a routine and gradually getting better I'll keep up with this journaling at least Keep viewing AI art Amazed still by what I see Want to get into using it Not exactly sure what I need to do I have some ideas of how to use AI art for my potential projects Reading! Can I get to it today? Found myself aggravated yesterday by someone's ridiculous request Not sure whether to just give in and do it to smooth things over Or whether to push back so this doesn't continue in the future Still disappointed in myself for letting it get to me more than it should I should be more calm about these things Keep finding myself wasting time Still trying to figure out best ...

Why do I let myself get aggravated easily in discussions or arguments? I do feel the need to correct people on mistakes Yet sometimes that doesn't really matter Especially if they aren't really receptive Often people have another point to continuing the discussion and don't really care about being correct I try to not let myself get clouded by the need to set things right I try to tell myself to look at the end goal of a conversation To also look at the end goal of a relationship with someone Will continuing to correct them help? If not, then just let it go Feeling so busy and slightly overwhelmed Though not too stressed Just lots to do and I'm trying to keep moving forward Slightly anxious about issues coming up, but doing okay This is probably a good state to be in overall Need to get more reading in Still meditating Believe this is helping Still putting in time to study Still taking time to exercise

Aaahhhh, it can be so frustrating working with idiotic people! 🙂 Seems like this can't be avoided anywhere in life Keep needing to remind myself to not let it get to me Though hypocrites are worse And people who are stubborn just because they want to pick a fight I'm the type of person who always wants to find a solution and try to make things work out best for everyone Too busy today to stop and think of what else to write

Feeling good this morning Things should be okay today Still want to get stuff done though Judicious use of rewards and compliments for good behavior Works even in difficult relationships Something heard from Jordan Peterson again in podcast Urgent issue came up Hopefully easy enough to handle

Listening to philosophy podcasts Philosophize This! #126 - Gilles Deleuze pt. 2 - Immanence Existential Stoic Podcast - "The Republic" by Plato Existential Stoic Podcast - Reevaluating Suffering & Stress Jordan B. Peterson Podcast 291 - How to Combat Hedonism | Dr. Peter Kreeft Sunday Stoic 292: Memorize the Stoics with Dr. Kevin Vost Still struggling with balancing hope and despair Considering playing game like RimWorld or Stellaris Seem popular among FoL members Started playing tennis again Oh yeah, it's Halloween today 🙂 Made me recall times in Mobile Legends Miss those times somewhat, yet know I shouldn't return to that Couple more games starting up on FoL Chair of Deception game unfortunately canned since not enough players Not sure if I should join one or both of these new games EDIT: Adding note after listening to Jordan Peterson podcast mentioned above Dr. Kreeft says something about how our free will is all interconnected Good choice you make now will ...

Regretted getting up this morning Wasn't looking forward to a couple tasks for the day However they ended up going more smoothly than expected Yesterday evening had some troublesome happenings Trying to take them in stride though Everything is for a purpose I will look towards my quest Considering offering to backup game on 17th Shard LG 90 game didn't list any pinch-hitters Looks like a large player list with many new people Could see that there might be need for backup Game on FoL filling slowly Started listening again to song Rise Up by Beyonce Beyonce - Rise Up (Epic Movie Clip HD) - YouTube Use to love listening to this 🙂 Inspires me to strive to inspire others, especially children Movie Epic was really good too Constant struggle not simply letting myself slide into despair Sometimes just so tired of fighting But isn't the struggle what makes us feel life? I can understand that conceptually, but still want to give up sometimes I see more and more that habits and ri...

Keep to the mission So much could derail me this week Want to get something done on Project SV! How do I better deal with problem people around me? I can't remove them from my life Even if I could, more would fill their place I need to learn to deal with these things I feel like Takina learning from Chisato Working on setting things up for smoother operations

Feeling kind of strange today Almost like I'm starting to get sick Maybe just a little queasy from nervousness Feel lost  Probably good I didn't join FM game yet Too much going on to focus yet Feel like things are settling and yet they aren't So much yet that is changing or could change suddenly Didn't reply much yesterday Really should today Just don't feel like getting into more discussions on things Having difficulty viewing problems as "challenges" Everything seems to take longer than expected Often more issues crop up But this should be a good thing, right? Gives me more to do and challenge myself? 🙂 The point is the path and not the destination, right? I'm trying to convince myself of this... Music helps

Today is Taiwan's national day! 🙂 Glad to see more and more people around the world supporting Taiwan Saw article about Taiwanese citizen's being more inspired to protect their country based on Ukraine's example Still feeling kind of weird about my direction Trying to just choose things to move forward on Created mindmap named Forward for listing areas where I can make progress on Still not sure on whether to join the next FM game on FoL This week shouldn't be too bad Weekend went pretty well Miach contacted me again with a supportive message Shade has pinged me on Discord Really should respond soon SM from Fiverr gave me some stuff to look at for the FoL database search Little confusing, but will try to find time to check it out Not exactly sure what his timeline is for the rest Urgent issues coming in

Extremely busy with projects last few days Avoiding Discord and most social interactions Afraid to return now Started playing Diablo Immortal recently Playing mobile version since having trouble getting PC version right now Think release is delayed in Taiwan Liking this game better than Lost Ark Actually feel interested in the storyline Love the voice acting, especially for my wizard character Find myself wanting to listen to everything and not skip like I often do in other games Guy on Fiverr delayed on FoL Archive search project Said he's been busy with his regular work lately

Busy days filled with work and errands and organizing Didn't realize almost full week since last blogged Finished reading Skyward by Brandon Sanderson Rated 5 stars Man, Brandon Sanderson is such a great writer. Even his sci-fi is superb. I wasn't sure whether I'd like this as much as his other works, but I was captivated. This did feel a bit lighter because I think this was geared towards a young adult audience. But in some ways I liked that. And it still feels like it has such a backstory coming up. I can't wait to find out more! Continuing with Starsight next Logging into Lost Ark daily, but not really playing much Still not socializing

There is a limit to the time assigned to you, and if you don't use it to free yourself it will be gone and never return. — Marcus Aurelius Project PP complete Results came sooner than expected Everything worked out great Some precautions ended up being unnecessary Definitely better than the other way around Lots of little issues popping up Lots of interruptions also Keeping myself from going crazy with all the inputs Should be fine Reminded of the above prayer from Marcus Aurelius Time is limited Need to make the best of things for what matters

Completed Project AT Nice alternate path came up Took tiring work to pull it through, but ended up successful Project AF will need to be pushed back somewhat, but should be fine Continuing to read Harrow the Ninth Currently 37% done Becoming more interesting again Feeling better

Project AP became much simpler than I expected 🙂 Reviewed documentation again carefully Found where I had made a wrong assumption last year Everything is actually working out as best as possible Found out Shade lost his older brother last year Watched him play Ori some, which he had played with his brother before Very beautiful game with enchanting soundtrack Feel like things are coming together Attempting to keep positive attitude regardless of setbacks Think of how others go through similar or worse Hope for way to help others more in the future

Project PP almost complete Mostly went smoothly Small hiccup discovered afterwards, but correctable Still need to wait for final results Need to focus on Project AP now Some parts are confusing Many steps involved, going to be stressful Need to rely on someone frustrating to work with Joined 2nd Secret Palpatine game on FoL Hiring SM on Fiverr to make FoL Archive searchable Google, Yandex, and Bing have all given disappointing results SM is moving everything into a database

Up and down, up and down Created Discord server for Miach last week Called it Miach's World Just for Miach to invite friends Right now just Shade and myself Shade started streaming games on there He had been streaming with Miach before Now I can sometimes catch their stream or just chat with them Yesterday I watched him play Horizon Zero Dawn Osie's invitational game ended on FoL Orange's invitational game starting soon on FoL One big "blue" problem from over the years was finally resolved today Working on an urgent problem that came up today Checked out Scruffy's blog Looks like he posted about Guardian Tales in February

Yesterday and today somewhat relaxing Mainly because a certain person is out of town 🙂 Feels like less socializing recently Getting done with some stuff Want to plan out more Continuing to read The Sword of Kaigen Connecting more with female MC We are very different, yet also much the same in certain aspects Aspects like hiding who we are and doing what is expected from family and society Feel somewhat on the edge of despair I feel fine really However get the feeling that things could tip over easily Can't let that happen Started watching anime for Classroom of the Elite

Started post Friday on dealing with difficult people Don't think I'll manage to finish it That day I had to separately deal with 2 difficult people and their blow-ups Situations were still somewhat ongoing People I've had issues with before Unfortunately can't do anything to avoid dealing with them Could feel myself getting depressed and feeling so overwhelmed Like it was end of everything good again Stopped myself from going too far down Realized I could work through it Just needed to handle things calmly Things worked out fairly well Learned my cousin has cancer She's gone through other difficulties in her life recently already Feel so bad for her Can't help feeling a bit relieved that I'm not going through that Feel grateful for what I have Feel less worried about my own problems Is it good or bad that other people's problems can make us feel better about our own? What if a scapegoat of sorts is necessary for us to put things into perspective? For us ...