Lost Whyspers

Where do I belong? Been wondering if I really belong with FoL group Don't feel like I belong anywhere Should I seek out another group online somewhere? Realize it takes awhile to establish roots with any group Also can never truly completely belong with any group Always will be differences that make a person feel apart Stopped playing Mobile Legends recently Wish I could play Lost Ark

Ukraine situation is sad to witness People have been warning me about Taiwan's situation is now more dangerous Can nothing be done to stop this madness? Continuing to read Four Thousand Weeks Excellent book Find myself highlighting so much Changing my outlook on life Going to take another break from Forum Mafia Might not play for next 6 months Need to reply to lots of messages yet

Noticed that things keep hitting me from multiple angles to discourage me Like even current events in news Then political discussions I read Then just opinions people express that don't seem thought out Then little problems here and there in daily life Like things breaking Things causing problems So much all conspiring to take me out Also the constant input even if "good for me" Working on adding user avatars to posts on FoL Archive Keeping track of post counts Might put together guessing game

Up and down, up and down Finished reading  Children of the Nameless Rated 4/5 stars This is a good tale. Felt too short. Not really the same world-building from Sanderson I'm use to since I think he had to fit things into the backstory from the MtG universe. Still interesting though and if like to see a sequel. Reading  Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals Excellent and thought-provoking so far Eager to keep reading Trying to apply this to some extent to my life Difficult Want to write much more about this Been highlighting a lot

Feel like I'm on the cusp of falling into despair again If pause and think, realize this is absurd Not enough to despair about Big part is probably how tired I am Also, just suddenly received unexpected demands Still have lots of other demands on my time Delaying tasks All building up to dangerous levels Up to this point, relatively proud of how I've been handling emotions Successful at stopping myself from dwelling too much on things I can't do much about Making myself move forward with action when doubting myself Feeling in the flow Feeling okay about skipping things temporarily Feeling optimistic about future Meditation has helped Reading has helped Podcasts have helped Music has helped Socializing has helped

Continuing to develop idea of personal RPG sheet Meditating today was helpful Need to continue with this Still reading Children of the Nameless Getting more interesting Thinking about my future

Lots to get done this week Working on preparing better Feeling so old as I get closer and closer to 40 Feel like I'm running out of time Joined FM game on FoL Been feeling like joining a game for awhile Not many backups needed recently Thought I should join this game based on an anime Didn't think any other upcoming ones looked as enjoyable Set up custom search engine for FoL Archive through Yandex FoL Search Guy on Fiverr had mentioned Yandex So far Yandex indexing pages better than Google Easier settings for customizing things Also tried Bing search console again Looks like it might work better than before Watched Chrissy from Against The Current on Twitch some more chrissyofficial She started playing Lost Ark, which released recently Really wish I could play that MMO Avoiding doing so since I know it would require lots of time

I've been waiting to change my pfp to this eventually. This is another piece titled Sunshine from my favorite artist WLOP . She's sooo pretty. I had considered changing my pfp to my own photo for my birthday yesterday like I've done the last couple years. However, I ended up not doing so. I feel like I should be more careful.

Started off crazy busy today Felt like so many demands all at once Too much responsibility How could I ever handle being a hero? How could I decide between 2 competing needs? Need to decide which takes priority Always hoping for some way to "save" both Learning to think outside the box Learning to prioritize more quickly WindwardAway joined mod team on FoL Good choice Sometimes feel jealous of WWA She's so cool in many ways Happy for her Pondering choices Realize it's usually better to simply go with 1st choice for decisions that don't matter much Like choosing coffee or food or whatever Don't dwell too much Sometimes 2nd guess myself and think I might regret 1st choice Now tell myself oh well that's fine Also realize need to ponder things ahead of time before decision time Need to figure out my general principles so they guide me quickly at critical points Learning to short-circuit analysis paralysis

Looked into Vassal Open-source game engine for building and playing board/card games Lots of modules for real games Found ones for Betrayal at House on the Hill and Gloomhaven Looks easier to use than Tabletop Simulator Looks better for using to host games Easier to export images of board Realized I could possibly use Vassal to implement Forum Battle Royale ! Could be used as tool for hosting and running turns Not sure how much work that would be Having trouble focusing Trying to do little things Trying to eliminate unnecessary things Heard about book called  Four Thousand Weeks Want to read it soon Sounds like something I need

Starting to get back to more regular schedule Finished Goldenballs game on FoL Leafia and I won together Nice idea by Wazza Perhaps not exciting, but still fun little game Thinking about putting together survey on Misc games for FoL Glad to see people coming up with different ideas Listening to podcasts more often again Reading Children of the Nameless by Brandon Sanderson Wondering if Gloomhaven would work as PBF Would be very complicated to replicate Could be very fun though Would allow for roleplaying Would allow for players to come and go in different scenarios Feeling glad that I stopped playing SINoALICE Wondering how Scruffy is doing Wondering how Constantyne is doing Birthday coming up soon Don't want to think about growing older 🙂 This is Tiger year, so back to my birth animal

Feel like I should write something Feeling like it for last few days Busy with Chinese New Year family stuff Kind of crazy Also difficult to deal with Dealing with someone who always wants to tear people down Feel mostly good about how things turned out Wanting to comment about last FoLrus song reveal For Daeron/Kyo's category Submitted mixup of Evanescence and Linkin Park songs People seemed surprised and impressed with my pick Made me feel good 🙂 Looks like Vulgard hasn't been playing Mobile Legends lately Think he might be busy with another game I haven't played much lately either Just logging in for bonuses Watched Chrissy from Against The Current on Twitch couple times She often plays Teamfight Tactics Really, really need to figure out next steps on projects this year Need to reevaluate what I actually want