Lost Whyspers

Feel so lost again Not sure where to go Need to make a choice about the direction I'm taking in the years to come Feel so tired Feel so angry at times Getting annoyed easily Feel my hatred festering for a certain someone Feel myself distancing from certain others Need to get back into Stoicism Felt that helped me deal with chaos and injustice Came upon book called Never Say You Can't Survive: How to Get Through Hard Times by Making Up Stories Coincidence for it to come up now? Recently been thinking about how stories help reshape situations Opened free preview to see if it seemed like something I'd be interested in Got pulled away from even reading that Need to try again! Liking the new art studies from NIXEU New one above feels like she's had a rough time She's getting ready to piece herself together and get back to work on things Exactly how I feel now Met player named Kungfupizza on BGA Italian guy who visited Taiwan couple of times Interesting to talk with Tried

On the Breadbox server, they were taking a moral alignment test based on the alignments in D&D. Moral Alignment Test I often like taking such tests. I got the following result. I feel like this is a good result for me. It matches well for how I see myself. I particularly like the description given.

Started post on "Praise and appreciation" but stuck Yesterday both good and bad Finished couple things I'd put off Wish I could have done more Got distracted by little things Thinking a lot about where I'm going in life Some thoughts come from reading Rhythm of War Considering what groups to stay part of Considering what to remove from my life Found the above artwork recently, but can't remember where

I changed my profile pic to this recent study by an artist I like named NIXEU .

SINoALICE Senate guild taking break from Colo Ciconia FM game on FoL ended with wolves conceding Went better than expected CRichard asked me to join multiball FM game on MU Low post requirement of 10 Max post count of 150 Should be good change Still hope I don't rand wolf 🙂 Still need to finish up with game designs Want to do Senate game Probably will also look for other help on FBR Want to write up rules for forum version of Betrayal at House on the Hill Continuing to play games on BGA

Started feeling a little better late last night Reading Rhythm of War did help ease my depression Took ibuprofen to help with headache and general pain, which did help Probably should have taken it sooner Usually try to avoid getting dependent on medication Today will be somewhat hectic Getting better at the board game Canosa  🙂

Haven't been feeling good for past few days Headaches Severe depression Tiredness Reading one of only things that makes me feel calmer Trying to take things one small step at a time

Ack! Really feel bad about not getting back to some people Been in a weird state recently Still not wanting to do much to disrupt the status quo Need to get moving! Osie found me on Facebook Almost dismissed his friend request, but thought I recognized him from photos I've seen Still need to write about recent Forum Mafia games Situations around the world make me depressed Reading Rhythm of War makes me feel a little better in general So many thoughts I want to express

I had to add a new email widget to my blog. Apparently Google discontinued Feedburner. I had gotten an email from someone at follow.it about this. I must have missed getting something from Google about it. Anyway, I figured out how to configure a widget with follow.it and set it up on my blog. I imported the email subscribers from Feedburner. Maybe they haven't been receiving emails for a while now. Hopefully they will get emails now. I added my email address so that I can see them as well.

Still so much to write about, but can't get myself to start Writing this just to write something Still need to reply to a few people Things are okay Don't want to mess up the status quo

So much I've been thinking about recently and want to write about Too tired tonight though Why do I have trouble writing? Am I afraid?

Yesterday I was listening to an interesting podcast from  Sam Harris  on free will titled  Final Thoughts on Free Will . I think he's written a book on free will and has discussed it in other podcasts, so I might see about finding those. Anyway, Sam was saying that it's not a matter of deciding between whether things are deterministic or whether we have free will. His position is that the concept of free will itself is actually flawed. He says that thoughts really just pop into our head. Either the thoughts are based on our state of being at that time or they are random. If we the former, then the system is deterministic. If we think the latter, then really randomness has nothing to do with choosing like we normally think of with free will. So if we really think about it, free will makes no sense. We never really view things from an outside perspective where we actively choose what we think or what we want. I can somewhat agree with his point, though Sam didn't really addre

Helping to host Orangevitational game on FoL Starting to get less enthused with BGA Still fun and still plan to play some Recently liking Lords of Xidit Surprised I enjoy Splendor so much Trying to get back into reading again Continued with Rhythm of War Continued with Thinking in Bets Listened to interesting podcast from  Sam Harris  on free will Final Thoughts on Free Will Started writing here, but then decided to write separate blog post about it

Busy day with family Enjoying playing at Board Game Arena Now playing 65 turn-based games Think I'm getting better at Lost Ruins of Arnak Kind of enjoy Splendor as well Percy Jackson FM game on FoL finally filling Feel stuck on Senate Colosseum game Probably just resistance to doing tedious work of compiling stats Long DM from Miach Nice to hear from her once in a while Still haven't heard back from Constantyne

Yesterday I earned the Devotee badge on FoL . That's for 365 consecutive days visiting. I had seen that badge a while back and wondered if I'd skipped even a single day since I'd joined. I thought perhaps I didn't have a chance during a particularly busy day. But I guess I managed to visit every single day. 😀

Board Game Arena is quite addicting 😀 Currently playing 28 turned-based games Particularly like Lost Ruins of Arnak Certain games like Sushi Go! easy to play turn-based Other games like Colt Express require thinking through what was played, so more difficult to pick up quickly when my turn comes around Player named Haruka reminds me of Vulgard 🙂 Project SV coming along Weekend going to be busy with family Friend was venting about family Reminds me of my own frustrations with family Why must family bring about some of the worst complications in life?

Asked to replace into FM game Late last night right before bedtime I hadn't signed up as backup so must be having difficulty finding one Almost agreed, but then realized I should sleep before deciding Later realized I probably don't have time for that particular game since somewhat complicated Looked like replacement found Considering hosting Betrayal at House on the Hill misc on FoL Going to take some work to write up rules and prepare materials Probably wouldn't start for at least a week since need to wait for another misc to finish Still working on Senate Colosseum game Going to be deck based Need to organize all weapon stats to determine best way to handle them Trying not to overcomplicate first iteration Playing games on Board Game Arena Martian Dice is quick game that's kind of fun Joined a few turn-based games with 1 turn per day

Frustrated with Google sometimes Made it impossible to purchase Google Play credit now from outside US even with my US account Often just take good stuff away, like Google Music Cerpin from Senate (my SINoALICE guild) was adding prizes to Senate Shop Things he picked up from anime convention I think Seems determined to make our guild fun and special even outside the game Reminds me of my Mistborn guild for Mobile Legends Contacted him to say I noticed Told him my idea about designing a Discord game for our guild Thinking about it for a while today Final Fantasy FM game on MU might be postponed Host said his father has a low chance of surviving COVID infection

I felt like changing my profile pic again. This is from an artist named Bluezima .