Lost Whyspers

Continuing to play Mobile Legends Vulgard joined my squad Played game with Sassy and Cleez Their baby is already 2 years old! Feel bad for not asking more Want to learn new Edith hero Continuing to read Elantris Saw that they were doing the gift exchange for FoL Wanted to join, but felt bad for not doing something creative Saw really cool slideshow Min put together for Chloe Feel bad about not talking more with Constantyne Installed some graphics software on laptop Want to learn some stuff Still thinking of best PBF game to host on FoL Not sure if Betrayal at House on the Hill will be too complicated New BotF game already starting up on FoL Timing was perfect to allow me to sign up first as traveller Really don't want to be Demon again 🙂 Chatted with Vulgard again Learned that he plays DR roleplaying on Discord Works on creative writing for that Couple days ago I allowed my anger to get the best of me Ended up making mistake Mistake was also partially due to neglect at paying att...

I finally found the song I'd been searching for! I'd heard it a number of times in the past. It's a Chinese song called 寓言 ("The Fable") with a tune that sounds like "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". I wasn't even searching for it at the time. I was just looking for other songs I was in the mood for. I thought about the song "Over The Rainbow" and remembered there was a version I particularly liked. I found the one sung by 張韶涵 (Angela Chang, sometimes spelled Zhang) on Spotify. She's a Taiwanese singer and actress. I love her voice and she does so well with this song. Her English is perfect. However, it was the next song on the album that really got me excited. And the lyrics are better than I had assumed they'd be. Here's an English translation after running them through Google Translate. I wandered into this lively street　The sun made me a little tired It’s weird that I’ve loved broken thoughts recently, but I think I DON’T CARE ...

I needed to switch out my Christmas pfp and decided to go with a piece from ZED called Raven . She has a bit of a somber look, but I suppose that's just how I feel overall recently. Though that's not to say that I haven't had some bright points come up.

So I played my first game of Mobile Legends after returning to it recently. It was a Rank game and I picked Lolita, of course. It took a short time to get use to playing again, but then got better. My team won and I got MVP with a rating of 10.0! 🙂 I was absolutely elated. I do hope to get a chance to play again soon. Looked like the season is ending in a day or so. Maybe I can climb the ranks next season. Yesterday I had accidentally invited Vulgard to my squad after adding him as a friend in the game. They don't even ask for confirmation when you push the little squad invite icon wondering what it's for. So silly. Anyway, Vulgard decided to accept the invite anyway since he'd been wanting to complete the task on joining a squad. Haha, I get confused now about whether I already wrote something in a blog post or if it was in the new journal app I've been using. I was intending to eventually transfer some things I've written from there to blog posts. I find it easie...

So I did end up opening Mobile Legends 🙂 Told me it was 183 days since last login Curious to see how I felt Curious to see what changed Sassy sent me a message right away Looking forward to giving Christmas gifts to nieces Our family had a plan not to give gifts this year since we'll be moving to US soon Couldn't help myself 🙂 Planned these gifts earlier in the year already Looking forward to trying out map-making software on new laptop Going to try creating map to symbolize my life path

Past midnight, but still writing this for Tuesday 🙂 Just found out that Vulgard plays Mobile Legends! Find this so surreal to discover Now I'm even more tempted to return Even though we may not be able to team up for serious play because of distance Received my new laptop Going to take some time to set up Look forward to using it Delayed getting new laptop for too long

Restful day yesterday (Sunday) Still need to reply to people Today busy day Making some professional progress Thinking about Sassy and other friends from Mobile Legends who I haven't chatted with for a long time Heard that Witcher season 2 is out or almost out

Wazza saw my post about her She let me know that it made her feel appreciated  We chatted for a bit Hope to chat with her again sometime Chats with Scruffy and Vulgard few days ago Hope to continue talking with them Haven't heard back from Miach Hope she's doing okay Reading links on Arete's profile They are someone I'd be interested in getting to know more about someday Seems like a knowledgeable and wise person Enjoying Elantris still Want to write about themes in Cosmere books So many ideas floating in my mind recently Growing inspired to do something more meaningful Worried about taking too big a step and falling Still need to handle a few important things soon FoL award nomination thread revived Chloe put a lot of work into that

Changing my profile pic to a Christmas themed one. This was one titled Miley Claus from an artist called Rossdraws . I think she is one of his original characters and appears in a number of his works.

Wazza sent me a DM Just message saying she loves me and hopes I have a good day when I wake up 🙂 Unexpected and pleasant surprise 🙂 Somewhat curious what brought it on Yet also don't want to spoil it by asking Wonderful when people do nice things like this for someone Can really make a person's day Continuing to read Elantris More time to think lately Need to convert this to more action Saw this cute pic of character Gwen from League of Legends (I think) New Fortress of Lies doing well Noticed that Mafia Colosseum hasn't been getting any new posts lately Interesting how certain communities continue and prosper more than others MC has continued discussions on Discord though Find it interesting to read the political channel Wondering whether to join the Stellaris: Federations game starting on FoL Considering reformatting these bullet journal posts Getting frustrated with Orange's continued negativity concerning FoL awards Wrote up reply, but going to hold off actually...

Started reading Elantris by Brandon Sanderson Completed a few little things here and there Feel good about that Trying not to think of all the other things still to do 🙂 Joined a Blood on the Forums game on FoL Previous one in signups didn't get enough players This game filled up fairly quickly Going to just enjoy the craziness and not get worked up about what others do Continuing to listen to Stoic podcasts Continuing with my Duolingo streak for studying Chinese Continuing to meditate in the mornings when I can

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I finished reading Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson. He continues to amaze me with his stories. This was another fascinating world in the Cosmere. And even when I think I understand how the characters might change or how events will likely turn out, he always finds a way to completely surprise me yet make me feel that it was how it should be. Also, again, the moral questions presented by the characters feel so relevant to me.

Continuing to read Warbreaker Still on break from Forum Mafia Tempted to play again Feel uncertain about my schedule and my emotional state Probably would seek a light game with a post cap Getting back into meditation with Headspace Playing less on BGA

I've been neglecting to post here. My thoughts are in a tempest lately. Lots of unknowns in my life and I'm trying to find my way through it all. However, I have been writing in a Pure Writer app I found. I'm experimenting with writing there and seeing whether my thoughts flow better that way. I sometimes have more time here and there to write something on my phone than to type up a blog entry on my laptop. I've tried writing blog entries from my phone, but it didn't work out so well. So I'm going to try writing in the app and then later taking parts of that to post as blog entries.

May have avoided most damage from my mistake yesterday Times like this make me feel more strongly that someone is watching over me Chloe continuing to make progress on new FoL site Let her know about what I did with FoL archive Probably going to make page explaining things Listening to Stoic podcasts still helpful Currently on something like 42-day streak for studying Chinese in Duolingo

Made a HUGE mistake!!!! 😢 Not sure of the repercussions yet Could destroy me Still working on damage control Trying to stay calm

Apparently more serious problem with FoL site May never be restored Mods are working on getting new site hosted elsewhere Offered to pay for 1st year hosting so we get reduced price Monthly donations can be saved up for next year Suggested "Fellowship of Lies" or "Family of Lies" for new site name Someone else listed other suggestions of "Fortress of Lies" and "Fount of Lies" which I like Moved FoL archive to GitHub WhysperKitsune/FoL-Archive (github.com) Set up Netlify to automatically publish from GitHub https://fol-archive.netlify.app Still working on getting Google to crawl site Continuing to read Warbreaker Going through a rough time now Fighting away tendency towards depression Listening to Stoic podcasts helps

So much I want to write, but not sure how Will try to do some with this bullet journal again Reading Warbreaker Finished Sword Art Online: Alicization Rated 7/10 Starting Sword Art Online: Alicization - War of Underworld Listening to philosophy podcasts Helping me through various thoughts FoL site broke down last couple days Won 2nd place in King of Tokyo tournament

Basically trying to keep my head above water Lots of waves, lots of ups and downs this weekend Best benefit is that I'm focusing more on future survival Survival in terms of everything: physical, mental, emotional The Emperor's Soul still touches me I want time to think over things more Story makes me think about reviewing my past blog entries Probably going to read Warbreaker next Another Cosmere book by Brandon Sanderson Coup: Uprising game on FoL was canned Host found more errors with potentially serious consequences Put up poll on whether to can the game Listening to "Viking" songs often recently Started with Skellige song from GWENT that I love Found other similar songs

Finished reading The Great Mental Models yesterday Pretty good. I do wish some of the models were explained more. And some I only understood because I'd read about them before from other sources. I don't think I'd have understood the significance just from the mention here. Started The Emperor's Soul  after that and just finished this morning Written by Brandon Sanderson Part of the Cosmere Oh wow, I wasn't expecting this story to be so good! It could be my favorite one from Sanderson. And Shai is definitely among my favorite characters. I was especially happy to find out that Sanderson got his inspiration from a trip to Taiwan. I had been feeling that connection while reading.

Originally thought today would be worrisome, but turning out fairly good now Recently playing game called Dragonheart on BGA Rules very simple However, feels like some interesting strategies involved Spoke too soon earlier, today turned for the worse

Not sure what to expect from this week Still worried about another incident coming up unexpectedly Still so much to do Need to take it step by step Continuing to watch Sword Art Online: Alicization Another incident did come up just now Luckily was able to resolve it quickly Really was nothing Just a certain person trying to make problems out of nothing Continuing to listen to Existential Stoic Podcast Hosts are kind of dorks and say a lot of cliché things over and over However I find this still useful Discovered that just listening to same stuff from various people is good Sometimes gives different perspective Even gives chance to rethink things I've overlooked Above is another recent piece from WLOP

Somewhat treading water at the moment Trying to stay hopeful Other things keep coming up and trying to derail me Doing well with practicing Chinese Something like 25 day streak in Duolingo Almost to 30 days Will probably add more once I reach that Remember that I should update my music playlist Still listening to background music more often Found this artwork on Twitter by an artist named Leviathan Simple and beautiful

Why must adversity always come in groups? Then it is the little thing that finally tips us over I am aware of this and will be cautious I am doing my best to strengthen myself Artwork above by beginning artist named Linoir Can imagine a whole story behind it She is enduring pain to make herself stronger Thinking a lot about what I've gone through so far in life Helps put things into perspective

Got hit by 2 horrible problems today One was somewhat expected, but bad timing Other came as complete surprise Broken my trust in fundamental ways Want to just rage at the world, but no use What next? Just move on, become stronger

Weekend went better than I originally expected Made progress with cleaning up Other issues didn't come up Going to be worrisome week Not sure how much time I'll have available Not sure when I'll be ready for Forum Mafia again Listening to my music playlist for background music more often lately

Okay, this is much delayed. I didn't realize I hadn't even updated my music playlist last week. And now I've delayed this week. Anyway... Added these 2 songs. Amaranthe - Strong Klaus Badelt - The Black Pearl Removed these 2 songs. Charlotte Sands - Bad Day Lights - Up We Go Here's my new playlist. Amaranthe - Strong Klaus Badelt - The Black Pearl Starset - Monster Katy Perry - Roar UNSECRET x Neoni - Ignite Marcin Przybylowicz - The Mighty Jarl of Skellige (Legacy) (GWENT Soundtrack) Neoni - Never Say Die Neoni - Champion Icon For Hire - Counting on Hearts Skillet - Feel Invincible Olivia Holt - Phoenix Fireflight - Keep Fighting Ashes Remain - On My Own Icon For Hire - Too Loud Icon For Hire - Make A Move Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding - Outside Within Temptation - Mad World Skillet - Whispers in the Dark Evanescence - Whisper Icon For Hire - Up In Flames

Wow, it skipped to Friday already Didn't get a chance to post a new music playlist on Wednesday Still planned on posting yesterday Just been extra busy last couple days Today is still kind of hectic Still keeping up with reading Reading The Great Mental Models for non-fiction Reading Victories Greater Than Death for fiction Thinking I need to change my pfp soon, but can't decide 🙂 Jotted so many thoughts for blogging Will I have time to write more? Keeping up streak with Chinese learning in Duolingo 17 days right now Oh wow, just looked back for previous music playlist and noticed I didn't even post one last week

Words are so limiting Or at least my ability with words are so limiting I feel like I can only get a small percentage of what I'm thinking down into words I feel like the words limit what I'm trying to say This is frustrating and makes me not even want to try However I know that's not a good solution Better solution would be to improve my writing Arguing with people can be so frustrating Sometimes it is so obvious that the other person isn't even considering logic of arguments So then is there a point to continue? How do I know when to keep fighting and when to just let it go? I have a personal bias towards avoiding conflict So then I worry that I'm convincing myself to let things go that I shouldn't But then I also can't help feeling that it's right to only get into conflicts that are necessary Reminds me of parts of Stormlight Archive Character and his father have opposing viewpoints on this

Listening to The Psychology Podcast Sam Harris || Free Will (Part 1) Sam Harris || Free Will (Part 2)

Finished reading Rhythm of War Fantastic book Ended up highlighting lots of passages just for the way various philosophical/moral ideas are expressed Considering reading Warbreaker next Same universe (Cosmere) Supposedly includes certain characters from Rhythm of War How long has it been since I've played FM? Feels like a long time, though I think only couple weeks Not ready yet to return Sounds like Senate guild for SINoALICE may not last much longer Heard that guild leaders getting a bit burned out with it Hope they feel renewed later

Finally reached gold league for King of Tokyo on BGA Thought I'd be stuck at silver forever Kept losing any points I gained Finally had a winning streak Almost done with Rhythm of War 94% done Amazing! Wow, found a much quicker method to do a task Feel stupid for wasting time earlier But feel clever for trying something out Now things can move along more easily May be able to complete it this weekend

They started a song competition on FoL . This is something that was brought over from POG 2+2 . I remember seeing thread titles about Walrus, but didn't really look closely at what they were about. I assumed they were some sort of trivia game like they enjoy playing over there. Anyway, we have to submit songs that fit various categories with a separate judge for each. The judges have their own preferences, but are also trying to look for something new from what they usually listen to. It's a fun idea. I spent awhile this morning deciding on songs and eventually submitted my picks. Here they are below. FoLus 1. Non-Christmas Holiday Music (Valentine's Day) Icon For Hire - Counting On Hearts (w/ Lyrics) 2. Don’t Skip the Opening No game No life OP - This Game┃Cover by Raon Lee 3. Rainy Daze SVRCINA - Meet Me On The Battlefield [Official Lyric Video] 4. Stone, Iron, and Steel Amaranthe - Digital World (Official Video) 5. Best Transition/Bridge/Interlude Linkin Park & Evane...

Started to get depressed yesterday Fought this Also fought it this morning Thinking about examining my values more systematically Writing them down Possibly thinking about moral situations Want to be prepared when situations actually come up When to fight and when to let go Think of how those I admire fight Do I have time to work on Betrayal at House on the Hill? So much yet to do Take it step by step Keep calm Maybe I need to chat with Miach again soon She's encouraging Artwork above by Guweiz Like seeing her calm, meditative expression

Currently 80% done with Rhythm of War Story touches a lot on responsibility With more power comes more responsibility Gods and heroes bear much responsibility Do I want that? Did I escape from that? But what else is there? Responsibility gives meaning Today is national holiday in Taiwan Observance of Taiwan's birthday yesterday Cooled down a lot today Finally feeling like autumn Think there's typhoon passing by to south Artwork above from Chubymi

Making progress on project SV Yesterday transferred Discord Nitro boosts from old server to new Breadbox server Brought server to level 2 Discord recently reduced boost requirements Also been adding benefits Server now has custom role icons Today fairly relaxing

Bad luck yesterday evening Some bad luck today Resolved problem though Took care of issue I'd been delaying for months Sounds like Ashra from Senate successfully took over my SINoALICE account Trinity Blood Mafia game on Mafia Colosseum finished Wolves won I got rather angry at a particular player during that game Treated me rudely by criticizing me for not catching up and posting within a few hours after I'd replaced in Already around 3000 posts by that time with complicated mechanics Also kept misconstruing my words Tunneled me to ML Mostly over this now 🙂 CRich did really well in his SK role Now trying to continue with my break from Forum Mafia Tempting to help backup Mad17 game on FoL Has needed a few backups so early Still needs backup despite having 6 players signed up as backups

Just finished S03E17 of Sword Art Online Mad17 game on FoL needing couple replacements so early Replacement list has 6 people Seems like people aren't accepting though Looks like WWA did take one spot Not sure if I'll be needed, but I'm still on break Currently 71% done with Rhythm of War Listening to more songs and music artists I previously liked Belinda Carlisle Two Steps From Hell Downloaded couple other anime movies recommended by Scruffy Violet Evergarden: The Movie (2020) Maquia: When The Promised Flower Blooms (2018) King of Tokyo finally out of beta on BGA

Oh, I had some thoughts this morning that I wanted to note, but now I forgot 😔 Maybe something to do with distractions Or with temporary lack of distractions that leave a void Need to fill that void with something good Updated my music playlist Want to continue to do that weekly Still reading Rhythm of War So so good So much to think about Tempted to join Forum Mafia game on new site Paradox Interactive Forums Perhaps I should stick with my break though Also don't like how the site doesn't allow custom avatars 🙂 Found some nice artwork from artist named Chubymi Seen a few of her pieces before

Added these 2 songs. Starset - Monster Katy Perry - Roar Removed these 2 songs. Evanescence - My Last Breath Cassadee Pope - I Am Invincible Here's my new playlist. Starset - Monster Katy Perry - Roar UNSECRET x Neoni - Ignite Marcin Przybylowicz - The Mighty Jarl of Skellige (Legacy) (GWENT Soundtrack) Neoni - Never Say Die Neoni - Champion Icon For Hire - Counting on Hearts Skillet - Feel Invincible Charlotte Sands - Bad Day Olivia Holt - Phoenix Fireflight - Keep Fighting Lights - Up We Go Ashes Remain - On My Own Icon For Hire - Too Loud Icon For Hire - Make A Move Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding - Outside Within Temptation - Mad World Skillet - Whispers in the Dark Evanescence - Whisper Icon For Hire - Up In Flames

New problems arising in my professional work So far probably manageable Chatted with Scruffy some last night Feel kind of sad Finally replied to Senate members Couple members offered to buy or pilot my account My policy has usually been to not sell or even allow someone to pilot my account Feel connection to each of my characters, so don't want anyone touching them 🙂 Started to rethink policy since also a shame to let the investment go to waste Maybe it would be nice to let someone pilot the account Still won't sell it Sorrock going to help shepherd the account Friend of Ashra might play the account to be able to join the guild in our timeslot She still has main in another timeslot Otherwise Shinji was sweet to offer to pilot my account along with her own to help maintain it in case I return Felt good to help out FoL with the archive Answered some questions people had about what I did Chloe might be able to handle future archive based on article I sent Helps to just throw mys...

Felt like switching my profile picture again. And also felt like red again for some reason. So went with this red helmet piece from Nixeu . I don't know why it attracts me so much. There's just something both elegant and vibrant about it.

Let Chloe know about the static mirror copy of FoL http://fol.whysper.info She was excited and offered to pay me Told her no, wanted to donate to FoL anyway See if I can get around to replies today New Coup game in signups at FoL Special homebrew version called Uprising Looks like quite a number of changes compared to other custom versions Vulgard's birthday was yesterday Feeling kind of tired? Found the above artwork and curious where it came from Appears to be cover for online music album from Seventhrun Tried listening to some songs from them on Spotify, but didn't like them Seems like techno/electronic music, which I'm not a fan of But the artwork is great 🙂 Also like the name "Forbidden Weapons" 🙂

Guy on Fiverr delivered FoL mirror Looks good when viewing it locally from computer Uploading to Google Drive to see if possible to host Previous test had issues with images Hope everything works out this time Need to DM Chloe about this later Frustrating incident occurred today Project SV moving forward Continue to be impressed by artwork of WLOP , like new one above Need to get out of my cave and reply to people! Why is this so hard? Noticed that Foster deleted his Discord account Wonder why?

Finally finished reorganizing certain group of files Smaug's Lair game finished on POG 2+2 Still need to visit and comment Tempted to join Mad17 game on FoL Illwei and Vulgard joined Trying to stick to break from FM Still waiting to hear back on mirror copy of FoL Am I in better control now? Maybe Feel like I've opened a gap that needs filled soon Need to maintain good habits that have been working Need to look at steps for moving forward in developing new habits Need to maintain momentum

Getting some professional tasks done Playing less on BGA lately Not playing mobile games lately Still considering Mobile Legends Also considering GWENT Listening to podcasts Bookworm 125: Willpower Doesn’t Work by Benjamin Hardy Existential Stoic Podcast - A Field Guide to a Happy Life - with Massimo Pigliucci Bookworm 126: The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest Bookworm 127: The Art of the Idea by John Hunt Reading Rhythm of War Slacking on practicing Chinese Still need to reply to a few people Artwork above based on Saber character added to some 2D fighter game called Melty Blood Saw an announcement about it recently Slightly tempted to play Realized I'm not that good at 2D fighter games 🙂 Plus it wasn't mobile

FoL announcement about archiving Explained uncertainty about what company that bought ToL will do with forums People asked to help with archiving forum threads I contacted someone on Fiverr about mirroring the forum Seemed very knowledgeable and explained things well He started download process last night and said it's going well Waiting to hear back from him later today Also discussed with him about the FBR tool Couple members of Senate asked about piloting my SINoALICE account My usual policy is not to allow that I don't like to sell or lend my accounts However I'm currently considering whether to allow it in this situation Not sure how I feel about game accounts anymore Perhaps I shouldn't let them go to waste? “I want control,” she said, opening her eyes. “Not like a king or anything. I just want to be able to control it, a little. My life. I don’t want to get shoved around, by people or by fate or whatever. I just ... I want it to be me who chooses.” ― Lift in  ...

Okay, so updating my music playlist for the week. Going to remove these 2 songs. Neoni - Wonderland The Material - Life Vest Then adding these 2 songs. UNSECRET x Neoni - Ignite Marcin Przybylowicz - The Mighty Jarl of Skellige (Legacy) (GWENT Soundtrack) And here's the new list. UNSECRET x Neoni - Ignite Marcin Przybylowicz - The Mighty Jarl of Skellige (Legacy) (GWENT Soundtrack) Neoni - Never Say Die Neoni - Champion Icon For Hire - Counting on Hearts Skillet - Feel Invincible Charlotte Sands - Bad Day Cassadee Pope - I Am Invincible Olivia Holt - Phoenix Fireflight - Keep Fighting Lights - Up We Go Ashes Remain - On My Own Icon For Hire - Too Loud Icon For Hire - Make A Move Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding - Outside Within Temptation - Mad World Skillet - Whispers in the Dark Evanescence - Whisper Evanescence - My Last Breath Icon For Hire - Up In Flames

About halfway done with Rhythm of War Excellent series that continually impresses me Reading helps me feel more alive Going to experiment with tracking Forum Mafia info in OneNote Probably use section for each game Also sections for general info on wolf and town tells Maybe section for info on players? I think OneNote allows tagging, which should be useful for cross referencing I've heard searching in OneNote is fairly good Idea based on discussions with Askthepizzaguy Also from reading his article on his SkyNet Listening to podcasts on Stoicism