A Small Return 🌱

It’s been a long time since I wrote here. The last post was in 2023, which feels strange to even type. ⏳

A lot has happened since then, although I’m not sure I know how to summarize it neatly. Anxiety, mostly. Some other life issues. A slow tendency to recede from things instead of reaching toward them. 🌧️

At first it was online spaces. I stopped replying to messages. I avoided communities I used to enjoy. I kept thinking I would come back when I felt more prepared, or more like myself, or less tired. I kept waiting for “later,” and then later became a habit. 🫥

Eventually I started avoiding social contact in real life too. It was easier to stay home. Easier not to explain myself. Easier to let the world keep moving without me for a while. 🏠

I don’t think I made a deliberate decision to disappear. I just kept taking one small step backward, and then another.

Over the last half year or so, I’ve been taking anxiety medication, and it has really helped. 💊 It hasn’t magically fixed everything, and I still have difficult days, but there is more space in my head now. More room to notice something without immediately feeling overwhelmed by it. ✨

So I’m edging into things again.

Reading messages. Looking at old interests. Letting myself be curious. Writing this, apparently. 📖

I’m not sure how often I’ll post, or whether I’ll be able to return to the same rhythm I had before. Maybe that isn’t the important part. Maybe coming back can be slower and smaller than I imagined. 🌙

For now, I’m here.

Hello again. 🦋🌱